


The Winchester Way

by madd09



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, First Kiss, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, M/M, Unresolved Romantic Tension, oblivious idiots, slow ish burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-10
Updated: 2020-03-12
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:15:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22646266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madd09/pseuds/madd09
Summary: Set after season 13 finale.Were you even technically a Winchester until you had been brought back from the dead,it certainly seemed like it was a requirement these days.Dean and Sam have to adjust to having John back in their lives. How is he going to fit in, will he understand everything the boys have done since his death. Why are Dean and Cas pretending to be together? Read on to find out.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Rowena MacLeod/Sam Winchester
Comments: 21
Kudos: 80





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I started working on this fic after the s13 finale. We are now half way through s15, so it has taken a long time, but I have never wanted to give up on it and decided I've gotta just start posting it. And I hope people who read it enjoy it.

Were you even technically a Winchester until you had been brought back from the dead,it certainly seemed like it was a requirement these days. Dean and Sam certainly never stayed dead, Amara had brought back Mary, and now the Angels with Jack’s help had brought back John. Dean was happy at first, he had everything he wanted since he was four, his family was finally back together. But after the immediate reunion it became quite apparent that it wasn't going to be a perfect family like Dean had let himself at his most vulnerable moments imagine. 

For starters, there was the whole situation with Mary and John. 2018 Mary and John were practically entirely different people to the two young, Cupid-struck, completely in love pair they had been the last time they had been on Earth together. So, it was putting it lightly to say they had some reconnecting to do. It was made even harder to navigate, because it wasn’t like there were self help books, or couples therapy you could go to that deal with, Cupid’s meddling, death, and resurrection. So it had been a bumpy start reintroducing them to each other. Luckily even without a Cupid interfering they had changed enough, in their time alive without each other, that they were actually getting somewhat along, not madly in love or anything, but forming a mutual respect kind of friendship. For Dean and Sam it was just an incredibly weird situation that neither really wanted to get involved with.

What exactly was the opinion meant to have in this situation. What advice would one even offer, how does one even start a conversation like that. So cupid made you fall in love, so Mom never told you about monsters and being a Hunter. So Dad went off the deep end and raised your kids as hunters and changed from the John you knew.

Nope both Dean and Sam had agreed Mary and John were grown adults and they could deal with it themselves.

Plus Dean was trying to deal with his own emotions and thoughts regarding his father. 

Everyone expected Dean to be over the moon to have his father back. John’s death had affected him the most after all. He was always the one that looked up to John the most. And yet, after his initial happiness, Dean couldn’t help but to resent the fact that John was alive more each day, not to the point where he wished him dead, but it was quite clear Dean wasn’t exactly thrilled with the situation as other’s had expected, especially Sam he had assumed Dean would be with Dad every moment he could make up for lost time. . 

But Dean suddenly was incredibly busy and had an almost endless amount of excuses to not spend time with John. It may not have been obvious to others but Sam knew his brother and it was obvious to him, that for some reason Dean wasn’t happy Dad was back. 

Now this wasn’t to say Dean wasn’t happy-ish for the most part to have his father back, he did love him after all and finally after all these years he had his mother, his father and his brother all together, happy and healthy under one roof. It was the dream, literally something Dean had dreamed about countless times in his life. Everyone was alive, everyone was safe and for the moment there was no massive crisis on the horizon.

They had finally truly defeated Lucifer, and the new Michael. In the end having Michael in their world for even a short time had actually worked out well for them. Michael had kidnapped Jack, from Lucifer and restored his power. As well as brought back countless Angels from the empty. Sure it was all for nefarious purposes to destroy the humans. But with so many hunters, and the Angels on their side they were for once able to defeat the big bad before anything went wrong. 

John being brought back was a gift from the Angels to show their thanks for Team Free Will’s help as well as sort of a truce. Not the weirdest team up/gift they had even been a part of/received 

And it was all looking pretty quiet on the big bad front. Meaning everyone was able to concentrate on the ‘normal’ monsters. 

And they were finally utilizing the bunker for what it was made for with it becoming home base. 

The apocalypse hunters were happy, Mary was happy, John was happy, Jody, Donna and the girls were happy.

But growing up as hunters and living the life they had for the last thirteen years, neither Dean or Sam had been able to relax and just enjoy life. This wasn’t how life worked for a Winchester, you didn’t defeat the big bad and suddenly have everything be okay. There was always something around the corner to look out for.

Dean’s gut was telling him that this instance was no different. Causing him to still be slightly on edge. It didn’t feel like it was going to something major going wrong. But he just couldn’t shake the feeling that everything had worked out too perfectly. There was going to be at least one more challenge or issue to sort through.

Dean’s gut is very rarely wrong so it was no surprise to either Dean or Sam that things started to fall apart a month after John had been brought back. 

What was so special about that day? Why a month after he was brought back, why not the day he returned? or the week after? Why a month. Well, it was the first time since John had been brought back that Cas was able to make an appearance in the bunker. 

Cas had been busy helping to sort out heaven for the last month and while he had had some contact with Dean, he hadn’t been able to get away until now. Cas had wanted to make sure that he was able to help get heaven fixed and on track enough that he wouldn’t constantly be expected to go back. 

To Cas he had felt it was finally a chance to redeem himself for all the wrongs he had caused his brothers and sisters, and even though spending an extended period of time in heaven was not ever something Cas wanted to do. It was worth it to finally ease the guilt he had felt all these years. 

What Cas truly wanted was to finally be able to spend time on earth with Dean, Sam and Jack, without the constant worry of what was happening in heaven nagging him in the back of his mind. 

Heaven was now finally running as a proper democracy, after almost facing extinction they had finally accepted they needed to change how they ran things. With this second chance they had been given they were smart enough to take advantage of it with guidance from Cas and Jack.  
Who were able to bring a more human, team working,dealing with failure, kind of life experience to the table. 

Dean had understood Cas’ reason, he understood why it was so important to him. That it meant Cas would finally feel like he could start to forgive himself for his mistakes that had helped lead to the almost extinction of Angels. Something Dean had been aware weighed heavily on Cas every day. Plus for extra bonus points Cas had actually let Dean know in advance his plan for once, not just taking off without notice. 

It was why, even though Dean had missed Cas over this last month, he understood why Cas needed to be up in heaven that this was Cas way of redeeming himself. But the last time they had spoken a couple of days ago, Cas had let Dean know that it was all sorted for now, that he and Jack had done all they could up in Heaven at the moment and that they would be coming home to the bunker in the next couple of days.


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the only chapter where we really deal with recapping the past but it is relevant for the main part of the story. So even if you just skim please read the next chapter

(Back a couple of weeks)

John had given them a couple of days to just enjoy being back before he demanded they sit down together and the boys catch him up on everything. After all, the only big bad John had been aware of was yellow eyes. Lucifer, Lilith, Angels, Apocalypses and everything else was hard for him to get a handle on without the stories. He wanted more than the snippets he was hearing in passing from different people. He wanted to hear it straight from the source. 

Sam and Dean were both hesitant about telling John everything as they knew he would struggle to understand parts of it. But surprisingly Saw was the first of the two to come around. He reasoned with Dean that if they were completely honest, it may be the only way for John to understand everything and it would be better to hear it straight from them and not second hand from others. 

In the end, Dean had to agree with Sam’s reasoning but he also laid down the law that this wasn’t going to be something they told him all in one go. If they were going to go into absolutely everything, no secrets all skeletons put out to air, they had to do it slowly and if either Sam or Dean needed a break, they could take a break. 

Dean wanted the conversation to happen between just the four of them - Sam, Dad, Mom and himself. But Sam reasoned that apocalypse Bobby had been wanting to know what had been going on to understand the difference between their world and his and as the unofficial leader of the apocalypse people he deserved to know. Rowena also managed to somehow convince Sam with that weird bond they had (that Dean really had to start teasing Sam about.) That she should be allowed to join because she wanted to hear stories about her Fergus and he was bound to be in them.

So Dean was expected to share his past, the reasoning behind the decisions he made, his feelings and fears. The type of stuff he absolutely hated sharing with his own brother or Cas. Yet here he was being expected to share it all with his brother who at least knew most of it. His mother who knew the overall gist. Bobby but not their Bobby, and Rowena who had only recently gotten on their side.

And finally his father who he had only ever wanted to make proud and yet had only ever disappointed, someone who Dean knew would only be even more disappointed after hearing all the stories. 

Dean understood why Sam was okay with it all. Rowena and him had that weird kinship, he had formed a close relationship with Bobby and Mom while they had been trying to save Dean from Michael. Plus most importantly he wanted to prove to Dad that he had been wrong about him.

Sam had people who had his back. Bobby and Rowena and Mom may judge Sam when they found out the truth about everything but Dean knew they would understand in the end. They had all made tough choices in their life and respected or loved Sam for who he was now. Sam had people in his corner besides Dean.

The only person who Dean knew would be in his corner besides Sam was Cas. Cas, who would not be here while they were telling the stories of their past. Cas, who was finally having an opportunity to feel like he was redeeming himself. So, even though Dean knew that if he prayed to Cas, if he told Cas that he truly needed him here. Cas would be there for Dean without hesitation. He couldn’t do that, he couldn't take this opportunity away from his friend. He was just going to have to suck it up and deal with it. It couldn’t be any worse than the other stuff he had gone through in the last thirteen years.

Dean made a demand of his own though. No one was allowed to ask questions or make any comments about anything Sam or him said till after they had told all of their story The only way Dean was going to be able to get through this was if he didn’t have to deal with judgement until after.Plus he doubted they would ever get through it all if they had to stop every other sentence to answer questions. 

“So, boys, you’ve been pretty tight lipped about things so I’m looking forward to you finally telling me what’s been happening for the last decade” John started 

Dean took a deep breath before starting to tell their story, picking up from the hospital after they realised what John had done to save Dean. 

Over the next three and a bit weeks, with Sam and Dean taking turns and multiple breaks, they managed to explain it all.

They started with how they dealt with the death of John, and how that led them to continuing the hunt for yellow eyes, what Azazel goal was and the demon deal Dean ended up making to save Sam. Dean was at least able to look into his father's eyes when he spoke about finally killing Azazel with the final bullet from the colt. Looking away when he had to admit wasn’t time to stop hundreds of demons escaping from the gate that had been opened.

Life couldn’t stop just because John wanted to hear the story, so it was a couple of days before they were able to all meet back up in the map room. Dean let Sam take over a lot of the explanation with Ruby and Lilith, jumping in only when needed, . 

They had to stop again for a day after they finished that chapter of their life, not because life was in the way. But it was quite draining for both Dean and Sam to relive through memories they had buried down years earlier.

By the time they were both ready to come back to the group a day later, Dean was prepared and bought a bottle of whiskey to the table to cope even though he was only going to gloss briefly over Hell. Sam grabbed the bottle off of Deanto to get his own liquid courage when he had to explain Ruby and the demon blood.

It was one of the first smiles on Deans face since they had started this whole thing when he got to speak about Cas entrance in the barn and how badass it was. 

Over the next few days as they were all able to meet they told the part of the story of the lead up to Lucifer rising. Dean took over the parts that really related to Cas, Anna and the other Angels while Sam spoke about Ruby, their relationship and his struggle with his addiction of Demon blood. Dean could tell Sam was really struggling to get through something that really neither of them had spoken about for years. It had been a chapter of their lives that they had closed and moved on from.

Though he certainly didn’t understand why Sam’s coping mechanism was to go for a ridiculously long run after they would finish talking for the day.

Soon It was time for Crowley to start making appearances in the story and that was when Rowena really started to pay attention as they spoke about their first real meeting with Crowley when he was just King of the crossroads before he was the King of Hell.

Dean could see Dads eye twitch every time they mentioned Crowley or Cas. They spoke about what the start of the apocalypse really meant and what events they witnessed and had to try and stop.

It was when they had almost finished all of everything leading up to the apocalypse that wasn’t, when both Sam and Dean looked at each other and realised they had completely and utterly forgotten to mention Adam so that was a necessary quick back track. 

Dean couldn’t help himself from commenting after all that “If you think all that is truly unbelievable and a lot for three humans and an Angel and a Demon to go through.I don’t want to burst your bubbles but this is really just the beginning it get’s a lot more unbelievable from here.”

Over the rest of the time they covered Sam returning from hell and them realising he was soulless. Sam working with Samuel Campbell yes Mom your father. How Crowley had them hunting Alpha monsters as in the very first of the monsters.

How it was hard for Dean when he realised exactly what Cas was up to and his deal with Crowley to open Purgatory yes Purgatory, it’s a thing as well. How now he understood but at the time felt completely betrayed. 

Dean knew his life was messed up, that he had been through some pretty messed up shit in his life, but he was a master at repressing. It wasn’t until he was laying everything out factually in order for John. That it really struck him how messed up his life was, to even make it through one of these events was against all odds. Dean truly struggled to comprehend how he was even sitting here alive to tell this story. 

It was hard for both boys when it got to the point of the story where they spoke about Bobby’s death. They did get to talk about meeting Charlie though which balances the emotion out slightly. 

Not so fun was Sam speaking about the struggle of seeing Lucifer constantly.   
How they found out Cas was still alive just without his memories. The alliance they ended up forming with Cas, Meg, Crowley, The Ghost of Bobby and Kevin. 

Which if Dads eye keeps twitching every time they mentioned working with someone who wasn’t a hundred percent human he was going to have a permanent tick by the end of this tale. 

It then came to explaining how they ended up defeating Dick Roman and beating the leviathans which then of course lead to Purgatory. 

They get to tell Dad about exactly why his father disappeared and how it came to them being here in the bunker and mentioned meeting Abaddon for the first time. Meeting Metatron and how Metatron led Cas to believe that he would help him close the gates to Heaven.

It was as fun as anyone could have imagined for Dean to tell the next part of the story. He had to talk about teaming up with Crowley to hunt Abaddon because better the demon you know. How that led to Dean wearing the mark of Cain. John just had a permanent eye twitch by this time in the story whenever he looked at either of his sons. 

They explained meeting Rowena and Sam spoke about the ‘alliance’ he made with her to try and cure Dean from the mark of Cain getting Crowley and Charlie to help as well.

When they eventually got to Amara, Dean tried to get through that in as few days as possible and happily letting Sam and Rowena tell their parts when possible. Except for Cas letting Lucifer take control, Dean made sure to tell that part so he could explain Cas's reasoning and defend him.

Though Dean did enjoy the look on Bobby and Dads face when they mentioned that prophet Chuck they had mentioned way back was actually God and Amara was God's sister, and how that all went down. How Amara thanked Dean by resurrecting Mary. It was one of those moments where they actually got enjoyment from sharing their past. 

From there Mary was able to help then explain everything that went on with the Men of Letters and Lucifer vessel hopping.

Dean really struggled to talk about Cas death with Mary noticing and quickly jumping back into the conversation, talking about dragging Lucifer into the apocalypse world.  
Sam then took over telling them how they thought Jack would be a baby but they found him as a teenager. Dean and Sam spoke about the different reactions they had with Jack.

Dean admitted he was drowning in grief over Cas and couldn’t help but blame Jack fully. Deciding he had already admitted enough embarrassing, stupid choices and everything along those lines that one more wasn’t going to make a difference. He certainly couldn’t disappoint John anymore than he already had. 

So he was completely truthful about how he stopped his heart to try and deal with the ghosts and honestly didn’t care enough about whether he came back or not. How luckily timing worked and it was that evening he got the call from Cas. Dean honestly didn’t even care how he had been resurrected. He was just glad to have him back. Dean could tell by the look on Sam’s face he hadn’t quite realised how badly Dean was coping and the lengths he had been prepared to go to. 

They spoke about their quest to open another riff into the apocalypse world and the steps they took, including Jack ending up getting stuck in the apocalypse world all by himself. Which is when Mary was able to explain what they got up to over there.

Ending with Dean finally saying yes to Michael. That was thankfully the last of it to catch Dad up to date as when he had been resurrected they had caught him up on how it had happened with the whole Michael thing. 

That left him all caught up. Knowing every dumb, stupid, decision his boys had made since his death.


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Introducing Cas and Jack.

In Winchester timing it was the morning after they had finished explaining the last of their past that Cas and Jack finally arrived home. As soon as they walked into the kitchen where everyone was having breakfast. Dean found himself standing up and pulling Cas into a bone tight hug.

Even though nothing life threatening had been happening or anything along those lines like Dean normally reserved his hugs for. He had been through such an emotional turmoil having to relive his past and was so stressed about the judgment and the comments that were still to come. That Dean couldn’t help himself, he needed the feeling that came with having Cas safe in his arms. 

Cas obviously needed the hug too because he relaxed straight into Dean's arms hugging him back just as tightly. The fact that Cas was hugging just as tightly meant Dean was in no rush to let go, letting it last for a couple of seconds longer than was really necessary before he pulled back and gave Jack a one arm hug slap on the back before leading them both over to the table and telling them to help themselves. 

Dean had had his back to his father so he hadn’t seen the look John had on his face as he watched his son hug the unknown man a look that morphed into disgust at the length of the hug. By the time Dean had let go of the hug and turned around John was smiling at something Mary was saying.

Leaving Dean completely unaware of what was going through his father's head. If Dean had seen the look he probably would have been more prepared and not said what he said later. 

Dean waited for Jack to grab some food and Cas a coffee and get settled at the table before introducing them to his father.

“So you’ve probably worked out who they are from us telling you about our past but this is Jack and Cas the other two members of team free will 2.0 .” 

“It’s nice to meet you Mr Winchester.” Greeted Jack happily offering his hand for John to shake.

Cas was a bit more subdued not quite knowing what to make of John, knowing all the pain he had caused Dean over the years. But still smiled politely and held out his hand to shake following Jacks lead. “Good to meet you John.”

“The Angel and the Nephilim nice to meet you both.” John may have said it was nice to meet them and shook both their hands but the tone of his voice said otherwise and had Dean on edge. 

Sam must have sensed that a conflict was about to break out though and quickly asked Jack how it had gone in heaven. Jack was happy to fill Sam in on everything he had been up to. With John listening attentively and asking questions. 

It allowed Dean who had finished his breakfast to make a break for it, gesturing for Cas to come with him. Making an escape while they had a chance

Dean led them through the bunker to the one place he knew they wouldn’t be interrupted, his mancave. Sam had no interest in it and Dean had purposefully not shown it to anyone else beside Sam and Cas. 

With the door closed and locked he could hide out all morning if needed. 

Once they had settled on the couch, Dean started the conversation. “You look good Cas you look happy and more relaxed than I think I’ve ever seen you.”

“I don’t know if I would say this is the happiest I have ever been but I would agree it’s the most relaxed I’ve ever been if that is the word you want to use. For the first time I not only feel good in my decision and actions but they have actually led to things being good.” Dean could tell Cas meant every word as he was fully relaxed into his end of the couch. 

Cas continued“ Heaven is finally what I wanted it to be a place where people actually care for humanity and where power is not the most important thing. I finally feel like I can call myself an Angel again without having to hate myself for what I did to all of my brothers and sisters they have forgiven me so I can now forgive myself.” Cas actually looked younger, with out all the tension and stress he had been carrying around. 

“You deserve a break Cas I’m happy for you.” They had all deserved a break for years, and it was about time they were finally getting one. 

“You deserve a break as well, Yet you don’t seem as relieved and happy as Sam is, with having your Father alive again.” Dean wondered if it was wrong of him to wish that Cas hadn’t learned to read him so well.

“I spent the whole time between Mom dying and Dad dying just trying to be the perfect son the perfect soldier. Not wanting to let Dad down, I worshiped him Cas I wanted to live up to his standards so badly. Something that didn’t change when he died. I’ve spent years slowly coming to the realisation that he was a shit Dad that he was not someone I should aspire to be and now here he is Cas I’ve had to spend the last month with Sam having to relieve everything that has happened to us since Dad died” Dean couldn't bare to look at Cas as he spoke, choosing to look at the floor, he knew if he looked at Cas, that he wouldn’t be able to hold anything back.

“I told Dad he wasn’t allowed to comment on it or ask questions until we finished telling him all about it. Well as of last night he’s all caught up. So now I have to deal with him and his comments and questions. And let me tell you Cas he’s not going to be happy with me and Sam. It’s all going to be my fault as well I’ll be the failure I should have been the one to stop Sam from choices he made. So no Cas I’m not entirely happy to have him back.” That was as honest as he could bare to be at this stage. And he was only letting himself be that honest because he was honestly emotionally exhausted from the past month and could barely hold his walls up around everyone else, let alone Cas. 

He could have easily continued to rant to Cas. It was almost too easy once he had gotten started. But he wasn’t that kind of person that was more Sam. So he made himself wrap it up.

“If your father doesn’t realise what an amazing man you are Dean and respect you for the man you have become. That’s his problem and it will be him that will suffer without you in his life. Because you have proven time and time again that you don’t need him. In fact you have become a better man without him in your life.” Cas had reached out and rested his hand on Dean’s arm as he spoke. Causing Dean to look up at Cas and look him in the eye. So that Cas could clearly get across to Dean that he truly meant every word he was saying. . Even after finishing what he was saying he maintained eye contact with Dean. With Dean being the first to break the eye contact what felt like minutes later. 

“Some of your Netflix shows have new episodes do you want to watch anything?” Dean asked trying to change the topic to an easier conversation. 

Cas decided not to push and let Dean show him what shows had new episodes and picked something for them to watch. 

Dean was shocked how long they were able to hide away. They managed to make it through half of the new season of Brooklyn NineNine before Dean's phone started to ring. 

No surprise it was Sam asking where he and Cas had gotten off to and if they were going to reappear anything soon. Apparently Dad had questions for them both. 

“I’m happy to stay here watching Brooklyn NineNine if you want to.” Cas offered giving Dean an out.

“Don’t tempt me. But it’s probably better to just get it over with.” Years of dealing with his father told Dean that it was worse in the long run if he tried to delay it.

Dean decided though he was going to be a little bit defiant though and wasn’t going to jump as soon as Dad wanted him though so they did finish the last five minutes of the episode they were on before wandering out to the main area.

To no surprise Sam, Mom, Dad, Jack, Bobby and Rowena were all already sitting and waiting when they finally joined the group. 

“Why do I feel like this could easily be us walking into an intervention?” Dean joked to Cas under his breath trying to lighten the mood.

“I don’t understand, intervention of what?” Cas whispered back.

“Don’t worry about it buddy lets just face the music.” Dean replied, shaking his head.

“Thank you for finally gracing us with your presence cant say I am surprised by you disappearing though.” And there we go thought Dean not even a minute into this conversation and Dad has already insulted me once.

“It’s this binge culture we live in one second Cas and I are just watching one episode of Brooklyn NineNine the next second we’ve watched half a season.”

“Is the new season on Netflix?” Jack asked.

“It is, it’s really good too you’ll enjoy it Jack. Just remember if you have any questions about anything as you watch write it down as you go and Dean and I'll answer them for you.” Sam answered.

Dean couldn’t help smiling behind his coffee mug as John looked annoyed at the side track this conversation had taken. 

“I have no idea what you boys are talking about and frankly I don’t care. I was made to promise that I couldn’t comment or ask questions until after you two boys had finished filling me and I kept my promise now you boys need to keep your promise of answering them.” John demanded and Dean was glad that he was able to stop himself from wincing at the tone of his voice.

“Sorry Dad it’s just we have some catching up to do with Jack and Cas as well.” Sam answered, trying to keep the peace. Which was weird for Dean to here, it had always been him trying to keep the peace between Sam and Dad. 

“I’m proud of you boys for killing the yellow eyed demon. But that’s about all I can say I’m proud of you for. I honestly feel like I don’t recognise either of you. Neither of you have turned out to be how I wanted you to when I raised you.” John paused to take a breath. Both Dean and Sam kept their mouths shut, they could tell he was nowhere near finished lecturing them though. He had obviously been preparing this the whole time they had been telling their story. 

”You have both made some truly terrible mistakes. Some of them I could forgive you for but what I can’t forgive you for is breaking the number one rule about hunting. I don’t know how many times I had ingrained it into your heads boys but obviously I didn't do a good enough job because the second I die you forgot it all. I couldn’t believe as you told me your story how you both broke it more times than I frankly wanted to count and you are still breaking it right now.” Here we go thought Dean. This was heading exactly where I was expecting.

“John how can you be disappointed in them sure they have made mistakes, don’t you think you are being unnecessarily harsh, they have done the best with the situations they were presented..” Mary pointed out coming to the boys defence.

“Because Monsters are Monsters Mom. It is our job as Hunters to kill anything that isn’t human. Werewolves, Vampires, Demons, Reapers, Witches, Nephilim, Angels. We are ignoring that number one rule just by having Rowena, Jack and Cas sitting here with us.” As soon as Dean had made his comment about Dad’s number one rule, Sam had adjusted his chair slightly to put himself between John and Jack and Rowena. While Dean had maneuvered himself slightly in front of Cas. Not that the three of them couldn’t easily protect themselves against John but to make it quite clear to John that they were there because Dean and Sam wanted them to be. 

“The world isn’t black and white John I had to learn that as Angel.” Cas spoke up.

“Cas is right Dad it's not black and white and to think you are disappointed in Dean and I just for those we keep as friends or acquaintances. We didn’t even mention when we were telling you about our past about the insignificant cases. The once off ones that were just so routine there was no real point mentioning them. Besides of course the monster we let live that is.” Dad was fully glaring at Sam as he spoke, and it took everything in Dean to not get up and knock that glare off his face.

“I just don’t understand how you two can trust all these monsters.” John tried to reason.

“As one of these so called monsters Mr Winchester let me assure you, your boys don’t hand out their trust lightly. I would say even now that the boys and I don’t exactly fully trust each other. But I respect them and what they are striving to achieve and they respect me and I know without a doubt that if I was to betray them they wouldn’t hesitate to hunt me down and kill me.You obviously were just never likeable or important enough for people to want to put aside their differences to work with you for lack of better words the greater good.” Oh no one could deliver sass like Rowena. Even Mary looked impressed with her comments.

“I think you boys have to maybe give your father some leeway here though things are obviously quite different to what he remembers and a catch up with words is not the same as living it. I know I wasn’t able to take Mary’s words about Jack here till I saw him in action and realised he wasn’t like the angels who had been terrorising us for years.” Bobby tried to reason.

It wasn’t for the first time since the Angels had given them their father back that Dean had wished instead they had given them back their Bobby. Apocalypse Bobby may look and sound like their Bobby but he just wasn’t theirs. He wasn’t the man who was more their father than John.

He would have been fully on the boys side here, not trying to reason to give John leeway. 

“You boys can’t sit there though and tell me conspiring with those monsters hasn’t bit you both in the arse. I'm sorry did I mishear the part where you became addicted to Demon blood and were sleeping with a Demon Sam.” Dean felt sorry for Sam because he knew how much he regretted Ruby and everything he had done since to make up for it.

“You can’t hold some dumb decision I made over ten years ago over my head dad. It was stupid and dumb of me and I have spent a long time trying to making up for it. But it is something I have been able to move and forgive myself for. I literally was tortured by the devil because of it, I’ve had to help save the world several times. Judge me all you want Dad I honestly don’t care.” This was by far not the first time Sam had stood up to their father but every time he did, Dean was amazed he had the courage to.

Standing up to Dad was the one thing Dean had never had the courage to do while John had been alive.

“Your right and really I should have expected it from you, you always did let me down. Dean on the other hand you always did what was right and beside for a weakness when it came to Sam, I could always trust you to make the right decisions. Yet apparently that was only when I was here to keep an eye on you. I'm still struggling to comprehend exactly how you are the boy I raised. The only thing I can say I’m proud of you about is not having a relationship with a monster like Sam here.” 

Dean blamed the fact that he was already on edge, that he was angry at his father, that he had so many years of pent up feelings towards John for the words that came out of his mouth next. 

“Well actually Dad I’m even worse than Sam in that regard not only have I had a relationship with a ‘monster’ but I still am and he's male at that. Why do you think Cas and I disappeared earlier.”

Before John could when really process what Dean was saying, he had stood up grabbing Cas arm as he went to drag him along so they could disappear again.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are moving forward in this chap

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy, and let me know what you think.

As soon as the words were out of Dean’ mouth he had gone into flight mode. He had to get out of there before he said anything else stupid. Maybe if he had seen the look on his father's face that morning he wouldn’t have said what he had. But then again maybe it wouldn’t have made a difference at all. 

To Cas credit he did wait till they were back in the man cave before asking Dean why he lied to his father. 

”I was angry, how can he say the only thing I've done right since he died is not sleep with a monster. I mean I know I've made mistakes but I've also saved the world shouldn't that count for something.” 

”But why lie and say we are together. Why not tell the truth and tell him about the “Monsters” you have slept with?” Cas questioned confused, and bringing up a valid point. It wasn’t like Dean would have to lie, he had slept with ‘monsters’ 

”It was a quick decision I didn't really have time to process or think.” The words were coming out of his mouth before he even realised what he was saying, it was almost on instinct. 

“ I knew that Dad would be most pissed off if I was currently sleeping with a monster. So that only left me three choices, Jack which just don't any! For one I see him as a son but even if I didn't he may look legal but he's like two and just no that's too gross to even think about. Then there's Rowena and that's just not believable in any way, Dad would more likely believe that it was Sam sleeping with her. So that only left you which made the most sense anyway, besides Sam you are the person who is closest to me we have that profound bond and all.” he briefly paused his rambling to catch Cas eyes at that statement sharing a small smile before continuing on.

”Plus I know you are a celestial wavelength and all, so you don't have a gender but your vessel is male and Dad hates Gays almost as much as “Monsters” so it means I'm going to be a double disappointment in his eyes.” As Dean was explaining his reasoning he realised that it was kind of convoluted and may be crazy but he was sticking to it. After years of not rebelling or sticking up for himself, he was finally doing it and he was going all out. 

”But why do you want him to be disappointed in you?” Dean couldn't blame Cas for being confused. It wasn’t exactly the rational choice or decision. And didn't exactly fit the Dean Winchester perfect do image. 

”Because all I ever wanted was to make him proud Cas. For so long I only did what I knew he would approve of even if I disagreed. And if I couldn't go through with what he wanted I felt incredible guilt. But now I can finally admit he screwed up my childhood WhenI walked out of our burning house at four with Sammy in my arms, my childhood was officially over I was forced to become a Mom and Dad to Sam as well as be his big brother. I was forced to hunt and take on responsibilities at such a young age that should never have been forced on me.”

Dean was pacing at this point in his rant. “I let him control my life and decisions, even for years after he passed. I understand he was as controlled by heaven as we were. And he may have tried the best he could but it wasn't good enough.” Dean had been dealt some pretty shitty cards himself and he had managed to make his own choices. 

”And you know I thought I had finally dealt with my issues surrounding Mom and Dad, after Mom came back. I had outgrown the silly boy who just wanted to impress his father. I won't let myself fall back in that hole Cas, I can’t let myself become my fathers perfect soldier again.” He had come too far and learned too much to revert back to that person.

“It's hard though man when he was yelling I just wanted to apologise and do whatever it took to make him proud. But I can't I can't fall back on that, so I guess in my mind that meant going to the other extreme where there will be no way of me giving in. There is no way he's going to let this slide, he's going to be even more pissed off at me then he was earlier.” It wouldn't surprise Dean if it ends up in a physical fight between them. 

”Which means it's going to lead to a confrontation and he's finally going to have to realise I'm me. I'm my own person! Not a carbon copy perfect little soldier like he wants. He needs to accept me for me or we will have to go from there. Because I'm not changing Cas I can't go back I have been through way too much to go back to letting my father control me.” Dean didn't know how many times he has said the phrase I can't go back in the last few minutes. But really that was the phrase that been running through his mind since John was brought back 

It probably wasn’t the most coherent speech it may have been a bit rambley. But he had meant every word that came spewing out of his mouth. All those thoughts that had been keeping him awake at night for the last month, the doubts and fears he had had his whole life. Finally got to be heard. 

”So you want to pretend we are together?” Cas clarified, knowing that was the only part of the speech Dean would really want to say any more on. 

”Yeah but don't worry we aren't going to have to do anything different than we do now. As far as Dad knows what we have been like, is what we are like together.” It would be one of the easiest cons he had ever pulled. Dad would be proud of it too, if he wasn’t the mark, I would be using one of his lessons to pull it off after all.

For a long con the better you know your vic the better you can pull it off. That was what Dad had always taught, and I knew Dad better than anyone, so it was going to be an easy con to pull off.

Dean seemed confident and passionate enough, that Cas was happy to follow his lead. He wasn't a hundred percent certain it wasn't going to backfire on them. But if this was what Dean needed to do, to step out from his father's shadows. He was going to do whatever it took yo have Deans back. 

So he was happy to follow Deans lead and go back to their Brooklyn NineNine marathon. At least that was what Dean had wanted to do.

But when in life did Dean really ever get to do what he wanted. Just as they had gotten comfortable and were enjoying the cold opening of the next episode, the door opened.

“Told you they would be in here.” Sam said.

Now Dean wouldn't have minded Sam coming in but, obviously he had brought people with him and that was the complete opposite of what Dean wanted at the moment, hopefully it was just Jack he was talking to.

“Remind me to never ask you to help me decorate a room Dean.” Rowena was appalled as she took in the room, though she didn’t know what else she could have expected from Dean.

“Excuse me this room is a masterpiece.” Dean defended, turning around in his chair to see that Sam had brought Jack and Rowena with him. “Is there a reason why you are all here?” 

“I wanted to talk to you and I wasn’t exactly keen to leave Rowena and Jack with Dad, who is still ranting to Mom and Bobby about your little bombshell you dropped by the way.” Sam answered explaining he had brought the other two into the room, closing the door properly at least behind giving them all privacy from the other occupants of the bunker.

“Don’t worry dear even though we knew you were lying we had your back I told your father that you had even had me helping you look at engagement rings lately.” Dean spit out the beer he had just taken a sip out of at Rowena’s comment.

“You told him what?” Spluttered Dean.

“Well, obviously you and Cas aren’t a couple because please like you could have hidden that from us. You obviously just wanted to piss your father off, and I know all about saying things just to make family angry, and your father was already insulting me so I figured I would help you with your plan.” Dean was speechless processing what Rowena had said. 

On one hand he was happy they had helped validate what he had said. On the other sleeping with an Angel was one thing wanting to marry said Angel was another entirely.

“He tried to tell Rowena it wouldn’t matter because it wasn’t like you could marry a guy, so I explained to him that Gay marriage is legal in America now.” Jack helpfully offered.

Dean was kind of glad that Sam had brought the two of them with him, forget what Dad would do to them. Dean didn’t want to imagine what else they would have said to John.

“So Rowena tried to explain to me why you said what you said and how it was a perfect plan but I really don’t get it why would you want Dad to be angry at you Dean?” Even with Rowena explaining what she thought was Dean’s reasoning Sam was still confused and wanted to hear it from Dean.

“Look Sam things have changed we aren’t who we were when Dad died and he needed to realise that I wasn’t going to sit there and let him tell me the only thing I have done right in the last twelve years was not sleep with a monster. 

So I wanted to make him angry and think I had actually done that as well. Sure I could have used Anna if I was determined it had to be an Angel, or even a couple of other ‘monsters’ but I knew he would be most angry if I was currently in a relationship with them plus you know how he feels about ‘fags’ as he would call them so Cas made the most sense.” Dean explained to Sam without getting into the real emotional reasons behind his choices.

“Ok and you are fine pretending to be in a relationship with my brother Cas?” Queried Sam.

“I see no reason I wouldn’t be Dean assures me that really we won’t have to act any different to normal as John wouldn’t know any better so I am happy to help Dean.” Casa was quite aware of only some of the horrible things John had put Dean through and yet that was enough to make Cas hate him. 

“Oh no no no boys you can’t just act the same, John may think you said it just to make him angry and you don’t want him to suspect anything do you?” Pointed out Rowena and of course that was her only reasoning for pointing it out. She certainly wasn’t hoping this would cause the two idiots to admit their feelings. Because it’s not like they had driven her crazy with their denial over the years. 

“Believe me Rowena I know my father it isn’t going to take anything more than the way Cas and I are usually, and us saying we are a couple for him to believe us. Plus with you Sam and Jack backing us up it will all be good.” Dean knew John he would even see things that weren’t there to believe what he wanted to believe.

“About that the three of us have your back but how are you going to explain Mom not knowing she has been back for a couple of years.” Sam tried to be the voice of reason.

“Easy when she asks I'll just explain we haven’t exactly had a moment without a massive problem until now and I didn’t exactly think it was a big deal and as I didn’t know how she would take it, I was just waiting until we had a moment to actually have a conversation about it.” Dean reasoned back

“Right and when did this whole thing happen?” Asked Sam who seemed to be determined to poke all the holes in Deans plan. 

Which did make Dean pause for a second when exactly should this fake relationship have started. It had to be before Mom got resurrected but not too early that it just didn’t make sense with what had happened. 

“Obviously It started after Dean got the Mark of Cain off that was an emotional experience it made him acknowledge his feeling for Cas but let’s be real darlings we don’t need to go too romantic you are still Dean the emotionally stunted Winchester after all.” Dean pulled a face at that and went to say something but Rowena continued on before he could. 

“Plus that was long enough ago that it makes sense that you are thinking of getting engaged. You are lucky I’m around Dean. I seem to be the only one who has actually got the brains to pull this off.” Rowena gloated, honestly she knew the boys were all emotionally stunted but it wasn’t that hard to work out when the story should reasonably start. Even though she would never admit it out loud, she was honestly shocked that they hadn’t gotten together then. 

Of course the main reason Rowena was offering help was to piss off John Winchester, who really just rubbed her the wrong way. But goodness you had to be completely blind to not be aware that the two boys were actually in love with each other. She would be shocked if Mary didn’t have her own assumptions about them. 

“I’m sorry if I’m not helping make up lies, I still don’t see why this is necessary and I don’t think it is a good idea, how is this going to end well.” Sam tried to be the voice of reason again.

“It’s necessary because Dean already told his father they were dating dearie he can’t exactly take it back.” Rowenna retorted. Dean never would have guessed that Rowena would ever be on his side and Sam on the opposite. But oddly it wasn’t the weirdest thing in his life today so he let it pass.

“Is it because they are both male, do you not like gay men like your father?” Jack asked innocently. Dean was interested in the answer himself, Sam had certainly never seemed homophobic and had never had a problem with Charlie, but maybe he would with his own brother.

“Technically I think the term for Dean would be bisexual and while I have a male vessel I don’t necessarily consider myself male. And while I have only been with woman I couldn’t care less if they are male or female and I believe the term for that is pansexual. So the question you should ask Jack is if Sam has a problem with me being pansexual and Dean pretending to be bisexual.” Cas explained as if it was no surprise that he was knowledgeable on different sexualities. 

The same Angel who thought when Dean was asking if he had used protection,meant did he have his Angel Blade. Yet all of a sudden he knows what bisexual means and what the hell is pansexual Dean had never even heard that before where had Cas.

“Isn’t pansexual and bisexual the same thing then?” Asked Jack confused you were either male or female right and you could only like males or females Jack thought. Dean was happy Jack had voiced his confusion, cause he at least didn’t sound dumb asking it. He could get away with questions like that only being a couple of years old.

“Not at all, they are similar but they have their differences, I'll show you the websites Dean and Sam’s Charlie showed me when we had our conversation about her being a lesbian, it was quite a fascinating read. Especially because even though I am an Angel there are people who think just like I do. People who don’t care about the gender they were born with and who genuinely don’t care what their romantic partners gender is they just care about them.” Dean felt the usual pain in his chest when ever Charlie was brought up, but couldn’t help smile at the memory of Charlie apparently schooling Cas on human sexuality. Dean hadn’t realised they had spent enough time together to even have a conversation like that. 

“Okay as fascinating as this is let’s go back to the original question Samuel darling.” Dean was baffled at the fact that Rowena actually sounded curious. Why did Rowena care if Sam was homophobic.

“Of course I’m not homophobic if Dean and Cas were actually together I would be all for it. I would even throw the coming out party for them if they wanted one. But they aren’t they are lying and pretending and when does that not backfire in our life. Have you two honestly thought this through?” Sam asked, turning to face just Cas and Dean.

“Because what if Dad doesn’t come around Dean what if this is a deal breaker. Could you live with knowing that you destroyed your relationship with him over something fake. If you truly think it through and you are ready to face the consequences. I'll have you back I always will. But you have to promise me you know this is going to be worth it no matter the outcome.” Sam was incredibly serious and honestly as he spoke it felt like Jack, Rowena and Cas faded from the room and it was just Sam and Dean.

Just Sam trying to make sure his big brother wasn’t making a stupid mistake. But Dean had thought about this, what he said may have been spur of the moment. But he knew he was prepared to deal with whatever the outcome was.

It wouldn’t be worth Dean having a relationship with his father if he had to hide parts of him. Because Dean may never have said it out loud. And he may have only ever acted on it when he was alone and where nobody would recognize him. But Cas was wrong about one thing in his talk about sexualities. Dean wasn’t pretending to be bisexual, Dean was bisexual. 

Which at least that was one good thing about this already. Dean had been pretty certain if he ever said anything to Sam he wouldn’t care. But at least now he knew for certain that Sam wouldn’t care.

Dean stood up so he was eye level with Sam who was leaning against the wall. “Look Sammy I get it, okay this doesn’t make sense to you at all. But believe me this may have been slightly rash but I have spent the last month trying to think of a way to make it clear to Dad that he can’t control me anymore. Maybe it will destroy our relationship, but I honestly don’t care. And it’s not like it’s going to ruin mine and Cas friendship with everything it has already survived. I just need to know you three all have my back.”

Dean was fully committed to this plan and he was going to see it through, Sam needed to understand that.

“If you say you’ve thought it through then okay I’ve got your back just let me know what you want me to say and not to say.” Agreed Sam.

“I’ve already made it quite clear that I approve of the plan.” Said Rowena.

“Of course I’ll help.” Added Jack.

“Everyone is in agreement then, would you three like to stay and watch Brooklyn NineNine I don’t mind going back to the start of the season do you Dean?” Asked Cas.

Dean shook his head indicating he didn’t mind it would give him time to think. Jack readily agreed to stay making himself more comfortable on the couch. Rowena looked very unimpressed at the way Jack spread himself out, and when Sam came over to sit next to her on the couch, shook her head at him and indicated that he could sit in between her and Jack, which left Dean and Cas sitting together on the other couch. 

Dean started it back at the beginning of the Season before taking Jack’s lead and relaxing back into the couch.

The rest of the afternoon was a lot more enjoyable, even Rowena found herself liking Brooklyn NineNine. Dean wasn’t surprised though that Rosa seemed to be her favourite character.

Compared to everything else that had happened that day,the afternoon was just easy. They were all able to laugh and joke with each other. Dean felt slightly guilty when he realised he was wishing that they always had the whole bunker to themselves. 

That the bunker wasn’t a headquarters for everyone. If that was they was it was going to continue to be, maybe it would be worth looking into moving into town.

That thought startled Dean. The bunker was his first ever home, how would he even buy a house. 

He didn’t have time to dwell on it before Jack was asking him and Sam to clarify something. 

Eventually enough time had passed where everyone but Cas was getting hungry for something more substantial that snacks

Sam must have still been feeling sorry for Dean because he offered to go and get dinner and sneak it back in. So that Dean and Cas didn’t have to start the charade until the next day. ,


	5. Chapter 5

Dean was startled awake the next morning by a knock on his door.   
“Who is it.” He grumbled still half asleep.

“It’s Mom can I come in honey.” Mary asked, opening the door slightly. 

“Yeah.” Dean answered sitting up stretching and rubbing the sleep out of his eye. Mary made her way in and sat down on the edge of the bed handing Dean a coffee which he took gratefully.

“Thanks Mom.” Mary let Dean enjoy his coffee and wake up slowly, which Dean was grateful for because he was going to need the caffeine to hit, before what was bound to be an uncomfortable conversation started. 

“I’m sorry Dean.” Mary started, once Dean our down the empty coffee mug. 

“Sorry about what Mom?” This wasn’t how Dean was expecting the conversation to go. 

“That you didn’t think you could trust me with this, I know it was rough at first as I transitioned to being alive and my babies being adults. That I wasn’t exactly here for you both and we had a hard time transitioning. I also know the time I grew up in wasn’t exactly known for being accepting of gays. But I never really had an issue and since coming back I’ve realised that it really isn’t an issue at all. And I should have made that clear. Especially when I started to suspect there was something with you and Cas but there was never exactly the time to talk to you about it. I’ve let you down as your Mom so yes I’m sorry.” 

Dean felt guilty and almost came clean then and there. John was the only parent that Dean was trying to prove a point to. He had no intention of causing Mary to feel so much guilt, when she really had no reason to feel it. 

The only thing that stopped him admitting the truth was the less people who knew the better. All he could do was try and reassure her that her guilt was completely misguided and she need not feel it.

He also figured it was his lack of sleep and not having any coffee yet that made him mishear Mary’s confession that she had suspected he was in a relationship with Cas. Because he had to have completely misheard her on that part. No focusing on making sure she didn't feel unjustly guilty was really the important part to focus on.

“Mom there are only two reasons you didn’t know. One like you said there hasn’t exactly been a moment to really sit down and talk about it. But the main reason was simply It was never a thing that needed to be said. Cas and I, are just Cas and I, it’s not like we are a typical couple. We aren’t even in the same state the majority of the time. This is the first time since we started we have ever been able to be together without something major looming over us. “ Dean tried to be as honest as possible, in the hopes to appease Mary’s guilt. 

“You deserve to be happy Dean, it’s all I ever wanted for my children so I’m glad you have the time now to just be happy. I’m also glad that it wasn’t because you didn’t feel like you could trust me. Because your my son Dean and I’ll always love you no matter what. I’m incredibly sorry about your father, I’ll try to talk to him and make him see reason. We may have become friends of some sort but he isn’t the John I knew before or after the Cupid’s interference. So I don’t know how much luck I’ll have but I promise I’ll try.” With that Mary stood up and came around the bed to give Dean a kiss on the cheek before leaving him to think about what just happened. 

Mary’s conversation put Dean in a good mood to start his day. He got up and after getting ready went to start making breakfast. 

Dean wasn’t in the kitchen long before he was joined by Cas. Cas was merely leaning against the counter across from Dean. Dean was frying up some bacon as Cas told him about the book he had been reading while they all slept. 

It was completely platonic and innocent. So Dean found It hilarious that when John walked in he immediately started grumbling and gave Dean his patented you’ve screwed up and I’m incredibly disappointed in you glare. 

That was how the next few following days went. John looking at them with disgust whenever he saw them, insulting them to their faces, and mumbling behind their backs. 

Even though Dean still didn’t want to please his father, it was starting to get to him with how disappointed he was in him. He may be trying to change, but there was still a part of Dean that was a little boy and that was the part struggling. 

Luckily for every insult John gave, Mary, Sam, Cas and Jack seemed to be making it their mission to give him a compliment in return.

Even Rowena was giving him the odd compliment. 

Thankfully after a couple of days Bobby found a hunt and asked John to come along. Mary offered to tag along as well, telling Dean she hoped being away from the bunker would give her time to reason with John. 

While they still had the network of hunters coming and going. Without John there Dean got to actually enjoy being in his home. The other seemed to feel the same way. 

Jack had locked himself in his room on a massive Netflix binge and requested he not be disturbed. A quick text to Jody assured them that locking themselves away and spending the whole time on their laptops was common teenage behaviour. 

Rowena and Sam were a perfect pair. They both loved knowledge, they both felt more in control with the more knowledge they had. So it was no surprise they were often hauled up together in the library.

Dean wondered when they were going to admit they had a thing for each other. It may not be incredibly obvious for others, and it had all only really clicked for Dean a couple of days ago. 

Really he had just kept putting it out of his mind besides thinking it was a weird dynamic they had and how close they had gotten. Dean was aware they had both bonded over shared trauma. 

Sam had even admitted late one night when they were both drunk, that he had told Rowena things that he had never said out loud before when Dean had questioned why he was so trusting over her now. 

If anyone had pressed Dean before to label what they were.He would have said best friends, just like with him and Cas.. 

Maybe if he really thought about it would admit that he could see some sort of attraction between each other. But lately he was noticing it seems deeper than that. 

As much as Sam was important to him and vice versa even Dean could admit they were better and healthier versions of themselves when they had other people to rely on. 

It was a weird dynamic between them but it worked and Dean wasn’t going to judge, and besides the odd thought it wasn’t something Dean spent a lot of time wondering about.

Then Sam tried to ever so casually like it was no big deal slip into conversation that, Rowena had permanently moved into the bunker. It had been during a conversation about one of the hunts they had hunters on, he just casually tried to slip it, before attempting to distract Dean with the way the hunters had killed a vamps nest.

Dean never one to miss any opportunity no matter how small to embarrass Sam latched on though asking when she had made the decision, and why she had only told Sam making a joke about being chopped liver. 

Which was when Sam mentioned that actually he had invited her to stay, before starting in on a speech on all the positives and benefits of having a witch of Rowena’s skill level permanently staying with them. 

That was when the lightbulb went off and Dean realised his baby brother had it bad.

They may not be together but it was just a matter of time. Rowena may not have been Deans first choice for Sam but he had certainly done a lot worse and if she made him happy well that was all he wanted for his brother. 

But with everyone else doing their own thing that really just left Dean with only Cas for company, not that he minded. He would have ended up spending a lot of time with him anyway. 

It gave them the chance for Cas to really explain in detail everything that had happened in Heaven. As well as for them to both talk about what their current plans were. Because for the first time they were able to actually think and plan what they wanted to do. Not have it be predetermined by whatever the current crisis was. 

Dean couldn’t hide his smile when Cas said he planned to stay at the bunker for a while if that was okay. Dean made sure Cas understood just how okay it was. 

It turned out they both realised neither of them actually knew what they wanted to do. They both may have been big believers in free will. But they hadn’t exactly had complete free will ever in either of their lives. 

Dean also came to realise that he had underestimated saying him and Cas were a couple not affecting everything in his life . But he was too stubborn to back down. He was just going to have to deal with all the consequences and Cas was a saint for putting up with him. 

A few years ago it would have been completely different. It was just him Sam and Cas. Everyone else never stuck around for long. So a lie of this magnitude would never have had any real impact in everyday life. 

But it wasn’t just the three of them against the world anymore. They had full support systems, a family and a bunker full of hunters. 

Which was something Dean was grateful for but it meant they didn’t just have to act around John, Mary and Bobby. But all the hunters coming in and out of the bunker just in case anyone mentioned anything to John. Because unsurprisingly with the way John had acted before he left. Everyone had quickly come to the realisation that Dean and Cas were a couple. . And thanks to the bunker being headquarters really that meant that they had to be a couple at all timed. 

Luckily all that really meant was just admitting they were a couple when someone asked. Dean was happy that at least the ‘If we just say we were always together we won’t have to act any different plan’ was working. 

So it wasn’t exactly hard to keep the lie up but it was weird. Dean hadn’t been prepared to have so many people think he was in a relationship with Cas. 

He had found himself trying to really avoid the other hunters at first after everyone first found out. It’s not that he was scared of their reactions, none could be worse than John’s after all. 

But Dean had spent his whole life projecting a certain image and having people assume what he wanted them to assume. 

He wasn’t prepared to see how people treated him when they were assuming something completely different. 

They hunters already didn’t know him as well as they knew Sam. They didn’t have the same level of respect for Dean and now that they thought he was Gay or Bisexual or whatever Dean wasn’t sure they ever would. And he didn’t know how to feel about that. 

As soon as Dean was talking about hunts, weapons, monsters he was fine. He was in his element and confident Dean came through. It was just when he was having to sit back and watch it was awkward. 

It was shocking to Dean though and something he was struggling to wrap his head around that he was being treated with nothing but respect. 

And not just in the tactical meetings, it was when they saw Dean around the bunker they were nothing but nice. They would come and ask him for advice and talk. 

They were hunters but they didn’t care that he was with Cas. They didn’t treat him any differently than they treated Sam. It was a weird relief to find out that people still treated him like the badass he was even if they thought he was sleeping with a guy. 

It wasn’t just the hunters from the apocalypse world either. Sam had started to contact and get hunters from their own world to come and mingle and team up to help everyone adjust. 

Hunters from their own world that had heard of Dean and knew his reputation not just as a hunter but as a ladies man. None of them treated him any differently or seemed to be judging him behind his back. It was just full on acceptance of his relationship with Cas. 

The more acceptance he got the more he let himself just enjoy life.The more he was willing to help Sam with the hunters and hang out in the main parts of the bunker. He was able to be himself and not have to worry about keeping up the ladies man appearance that had been truthfully unfulfilling these last few years. 

Between Sharing the workload with their new hunter network, the acceptance he was getting from everyone, the feeling of having his whole family back and everyone safe. Dean was able to just enjoy life and go as domestic as he wanted to without worrying about his image. 

Which meant, he was able to spend more time helping Jack learn about the world,   
And even have a prank war with Sam for the first time in years because he could.

Which meant by the time John came back Dean was not only even more certain that he had made the right decision standing up to him. But being able to spend so much time with Cas without a crisis made Dean value his friendship even more, Somehow they had gotten even closer. They had always gravitated towards each other, Cas had never had a concept of personal space. But now they were never in the same room without touching of some sort, legs pushed against each other when sitting on the couch, arms against each other when standing. 

Deans hand on Cas arm when they were talking. Dean figured part of it was, still being worried that Cas would leave and by always touching Cas he could remind himself that he was still there. That Dean would willingly admit out loud if asked. 

The other part, the part Dean wouldn’t admit out loud. Was that it was complete selfishness on his part. He would never admit it but he knew he was touch starved. John had never been one to hug Dean or even give him a friendly pat on the arm all that often. 

He moved so often he never got close enough to anyone really to have a proper friend. And hookups only filled the void for so long. Sam and Bobby had been the only reliable source of comfort and touch in his life before Cas. 

Bobby was gone, and it was different with Sam. Dean still felt like his protector he couldn’t let himself be completely vulnerable and reach out for the touch he needed when there was no crisis. 

But Cas, Cas not only didn’t seem to mind, he welcomed it he never seemed put out by Dean and his neediness. 

John was barley back a day when everything changed again because even if things were better lately. Dean was still a Winchester and their lives could never be smooth sailing. John came and confronted Dean in the library. Interrupting the research session Sam, Rowena, Cas and Dean had been engrossed in. Well Sam, Rowena and Cas had been engrossed, Dean was slightly bored. Mary and Bobby wandering into the library slightly after John. “‘Look son this ruse has gone on long enough, you may have everyone fooled but you aren’t a fag, just admit you aren’t sleeping with that Angel and we can move on. I know you are just doing it for attention.” John demanded. 

“John we spoke about this there is nothing wrong with our Son for loving a wonderful man.” Mary came to Deans defence. Dean threw her a grateful smile. 

“Sorry Dad can’t do that.” Dean answers standing his ground. 

“Son you are being stupid, you’ve proved your point.” John demanded again angrier this time. 

“Obviously I haven’t because you still haven’t gotten it.” Dean had gotten out of his seat when John had entered. But Cas will still sitting, that is until Dean grabbed his arm and pulled him up until they were face to face. 

Dean almost wished they had a camera set up in here because he would love to see John's face when he realised what Dean was about to do. 

It was with the determination to prove John wrong that Dean brought his head up to Cas cheek and slowly leaned in. 

Dean hoped Cas could read in his eyes that he was sorry for what he was about to do. Just as their lips touched Dean closed his eyes, not wanting to see the look on Cas's face. 

It was just a gentle brush of the lips at first before Dean deppened it slightly. If he was going to prove a point to John he was going to go all out. 

Dean had had a lot of first kisses in his life, and so many more kisses than that overall. He had had terrible kisses, he had amazing kisses, he had felt nothing, he had felt fireworks and passion. But never had he had a kiss that felt like this. It wasn’t full of passion and fireworks, it wasn’t terrible or nothing. It was natural, it was comfortable and it was like coming home. 

Dean was dazed as he pulled back slowly opening his eyes. Though he was quickly startled back to reality when he saw only confusion in Cas eyes. Cas may have kissed him back but it was obvious it was just to help Dean. 

“Think whatever you want Dad, obviously you aren’t going to just believe me but I’m not lying to you.” With that Dean stormed off out of the library to get a drink. 

Cas followed and Dean quickly apologised for the kiss once they were alone. Cas told him not to worry that he understood it was just Dean needing to prove a point to John. 

Cas brushed it off like it was nothing. Like he was fine with the impromptu kiss. The only thing about it that concerned him was if Dean was okay with what John had said. 

Dean was confused that Cas seemed genuinely unfazed by the kiss. But assured Cas he was fine, it wasn’t like that was the worst thing John had ever said to him after all. 

That statement got a reaction out of Cas with his eyes filling with anger and Dean having to grab Cas by the arm so he didn’t storm out and have a go at John. 

After the argument in the library John seems to be avoiding Dean and Cas. 

Days managed to pass without Dean even seeing his father much to his relief. It let Dean just enjoy this charade, a charade he was suddenly incredibly thankful because no one was questioning why he was always with Cas, touching Cas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would love to know what you guys are thinking so far? Do you think Cas is in denial as much as Dean? Who do you think is going to break first?


	6. chapter 6

A simple salt and burn case popped up on their radar and Dean was itching for a hunt so he offered to go, Sam deciding to go with him.

John was on a much larger hunt with Bobby and Mary chasing down a vampire nest, which was the only reason Sam and Dean both felt comfortable leaving Cas, Rowena and Jack at the bunker.

Though both had made Mary promise to call if it looked like they were wrapping up and heading back earlier than expected. 

The simple salt and burn was just what Dean needed, it was simple muscle memory, they could have done it in their sleep. It was just what he needed to get rid of pent up energy.

Of course the fact that neither Dean or Sam had gone on a hunt since John had come back, had been just another reason for John to insult his boys. He had tried to force/guilt them into joining him with the vampire nest. But they would rather he think less of them, than be forced to spend any extra time with him. 

Dean hadn't actually realised how long they had gone without hunting until John had realised it, which had shocked him. Not that Sam hadn’t wanted to go, he had managed to give up hunting in the past. But that he was able to pass it up.That he didn't feel he hadn’t felt like he needed to be out there protecting innocent lives. 

That was the big part of why he was okay with not hunting, he wasn’t feeling the call, before he had always felt like if he didn’t hunt and someone got killed that was on him. But now because they had a proper network now they had other people who were able to tackle the hunts.

He got to just stay in the bunker and coordinate and offer advice and research. Which his body was certainly thankful for. 

Not to say he wouldn’t hunt occasionally he had been itching after all and that was why he came on the salt and burn. But he really had no desire to go on the more dangerous hunts not after all they had been through in their lives. If anyone deserved a break it was them. 

For once their easy case, was actually proving to be easy and textbook. Everything had gone to plan and now they were just killing time in the motel room waiting for evening to fall to go and dig up the grave and burn the bones.

Dean was lounging on his bed flicking through the tv channels, while Sam was hunched over a book, with a notebook next to him making notes. And looking up at Dean every few moments before shaking his head and going back to his writing. Dean was trying to be patient, but it had been going on for almost half an hour and it was slowly driving him insane. 

“Spit it out already Sam what do you want to say?”

“I want to turn the bunker into a proper hunter headquarters?” Sam blurted out. It took Dean a second to process exactly what Sam meant because that had not been what Dean was expecting him to say.

“What like reinstate the men of letters properly?” Asked Dean

“ Yes well no not exactly but kind of. Really just doing what we are doing now with it as a home base but more officially. Really training and growing the network so that everyone has support, proper training and access to the right information. Making hunting safer for everyone.” Sam tried to explain, he had been thinking about this for a while and he knew it was the way to go. It had already been working so well they way they had been doing it with them just making it up as they went. 

“Okay and who is going to be in charge of this headquarters and making sure it runs smoothly?” Asked Dean

“I’ve thought of that and it would be me, you, Cas and Rowena. The four of us have no desire to go on complex hunts anymore. Combine that with the fact that of everyone we have the most experience it just makes the most sense.” Dean realised this was probably one of the things he had been discussing with Rowenna whenever they were hiding in the library together. It certainly seemed like Sam had put a lot of thought into it. 

“I assume your girlfriend is on board.” Dean wouldn’t be Dean without comments like that Sam had to have known it was coming.

“She’s not my girlfriend Dean, she is just a friend, I mean a good friend, but we have been through so much to not be friends but that doesn’t mean we are dating. But yes Rowena is on board.” Dean had to try really hard to not laugh at Sam, the poor boy had it bad for her. He had to know how in denial he sounded with that little speech. 

“Well I’m in, and I’m sure Cas will be to.” It would give Cas even more of a reason and purpose to stay at the bunker. And anything that gave Cas a purpose and kept him around was a win in Dean’s book. 

“See I think you are projecting you want me to be in love with Rowena so that you feel better about whatever is going on between you and Cas. Want to talk about that kiss in the Library the other day?” Sam questioned putting it back on Dean.

“The kiss that was necessary because our Father was being a jerk, what is there to talk about?” 

“I agree he is being a jerk about it, but he wasn’t exactly wrong you are putting on a ruse, this is fake remember.”

“I’m sorry are you taking our Father’s side here.” Dean questioned.

“Of course not, but no one said you had to fake date Cas, no one said you have to kiss him. Those ideas were all yours Dean, ever think why that’s where your brain keeps going?:” Teased Sam.

“My brain keeps going there because after decades of trying to impress Dad and not get on his bad side, I know the easiest ways to piss him off. Now don’t you have some more plans to work out for this headquarters you want to implement, get busy,” Dean was officially done with the conversation. 

The salt and burn went off perfectly and they stuck around another half a day to make sure everything was good before they headed back to the bunker. 

Once Sam had gotten the green light from Dean on the headquarter plans, he had gotten Rowena to fill Cas in and get his go ahead. So as soon as they got back to the bunker Sam shut himself away with half a dozen notebooks saying he wanted to finish working everything out so they could get it up and running. All this organising and notes were right up Sam’s lane and Dean was perfectly happy to leave him to it himself. 

Rowena was of a different mind set though and left him an hour before demanding Sam stop being such an idiot and let others help. 

The two of them had it sorted, and Jack was busy socialising. John and the others were still on their hunt, but making good progress. 

So Dean decided it was perfect timing to continue Cas pop culture catch up. 

Dean could have asked Cas if he wanted to go and watch a movie with him in Dean’s mancave, nice big TV plenty of space on the couch. But he didn't, instead he asked if Cas wanted to come to his bedroom and watch something on the smaller tv in there. 

Cas didn’t think it was weird, it wasn’t like it was completely out of the ordinary. Cas was more likely to relax properly when they watched movies in Dean’s room anyway. Because Dean refused to allow Cas to get on his bed in his full get up shoes and all. It didn’t hurt Cas to put on some comfier clothes occasionally and just vegout. So really it was for Cas benefit. 

Even though it had been a pretty simple hunt , Dean’s body had gotten used to getting a decent amount of sleep. So Dean blamed that for why he found himself falling asleep during the movie. It was a movie he had seen countless times, so it wasn’t like he actively had to pay attention to follow along. And his mattress was just so comfy it was calling to him to just sink in and sleep. Plus the warmth of Cas against his side was no help and it was barely a third of they way into the movie when he started to doze off sliding down the mattress and turning onto his side. Seeking more of the warmth from Cas. 

Cas got up to leave when he noticed Dean falling asleep. But Dean reached out wrapping his arm around Cas wrist and asking him to stay. In Dean’s tired state he really had just meant till the end of the move. There was no need for Cas to miss out on the rest of it just because Dean was falling asleep. But there may have also been the fact that he didn’t want Cas to go, he was comfy and warm. Two words he would never admit out loud.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think? Who do you think is going to make the first move?


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are officially into the second half of my outline which is scary in away. Because when I originally planed this fic the whole thing was going to be 20,000 ish words and it's already almost up that point and I haven't finished writing it.   
> Please let me know if you like the fact that you get to see a bit of what a couple of the characters are thinking in this chap or if you would prefer it to just be all Dean.

Dean tensed as he slowly crept into awakeness after one of the best sleeps of his life, to the realisation that he was curled around a warm body. Which was a shocking realisation as it had been a long time since he had woken up to that feeling.

Dean slowly opened his eyes and was shocked to realise it was Cas’s body he was wrapped around. In his half asleep state not even clicking that he had been in bed watching movies with Cas the night before. Sometime throughout the night though Cas had moved from sitting against the headboard to laying down on the bed and while Dean was asleep he had rolled closer so that he was curled around Cas. Cas had moved as well and had his hand fisted in the back of Dean’s t shirt. Pining Dean in position against his body. 

Dean knew Cas didn’t need sleep, but that he could put himself in such a deep meditation that it was like sleep, which was obvious what he had done. Dean should have gotten up. He felt incredibly well rested, and really should hop up and leave before Cas ‘woke up’ so things weren’t awkward.

And he would soon, he was just going to lay here for a few more minutes soaking in what would probably never happen again. It wasn’t like he wanted it to happen again exactly, at least not with Cas. But he was appreciating how warm and nice and safe, and ugh he wanted to throw up just thinking those words. Laying in Cas arm’s with his eyes closed it wasn’t surprising that he drifted back to sleep. Dean was sure it was still quite early anyway.

John had had enough of putting up with Dean. He was sick of the charade. He didn’t understand exactly why Dean was so pissed off with him but enough was enough. He knew his son better than anyone, he knew he just needed to get Dean one on one and remind him of the importance of family. 

Explain that John would forgive him for his mistakes, Dean wouldn’t even have to admit to everyone he had been faking it just to get a rise out of his father. John would allow him to just tell everyone he broke up with the Angel. Becuase Dean had to be faking it, no son of John Wincherster would be a fag let alone date a monster. 

As long as the Angel, the Nephiliam and the Witch left the bunker, Dean could spin it however he wanted. Then John would have both his son’s back, Mary would stop bothering him about being accepting and they would be able to finally be the family they have never gotten to be. Approaching Dean in front of others had proven to be useless, so his new plan was to approach Dean when he was alone. 

Which was harder than John had thought, his boys had created quite a network and they were never alone. So John had figured if he wanted to get him one on one his only chance was to approach him in his bedroom before Dean started his morning. 

Which was why John had gotten up early this morning and was making his way through the bunker to Dean’s room.

“Wake up Dean we need to talk.” John demanded as he swung Dean’s door open.

Dean was startled awake by the noise of his door banging and years of training had him instinctively rolling over and grabbing his gun from his bedside table, sitting up and aiming it, before he had even really woken up or realised what was going on. Cas had immediately sat up drawing his angel bland so both hunter and Angel were ready before their brains realised there was no threat and it was just John. Yet neither made a move to lower their weapons. 

John was never one to admit he was wrong, yet he was really struggling to process what he was seeing with his eyes,and how that fit with what he believed. Dean was just faking his realtionship to piss John off, no one knew John was coming to confront him this morning. So why was Dean in bed with the monster, why had they been curled around each other like lovers. 

The three were just staring at each other as they all took in what was happening and Dean and Cas decided to lower their weapons. 

“It’s never a good idea to startle a hunter away Dad, or did you forget one of your own rules.” Snapped Dean, pissed off with having been startled awake. 

“Like you would have shot me Dean, but I am glad to see you haven’t forgotten everything I taught you.” Dean just rolled his eyes at his father's cockiness. It would have served him right if Dean had shot at him. . 

“What can we help you with John?”Cas asked icily. 

“You nothing, I need to talk to my Son.” 

“Well I don’t want to talk to you Dad, especially not at whatever Chuck forsaken time it is.” A glance at the clock showed Dean it was only ten past seven. 

“To bad Dean we need to talk, man on man, or are you not man enough to have a one on one with your own Father these days.”   
“I'm man enough to not do something I don’t want to do, I don’t want to talk to your Dad, not until you realise that I’m not your perfect soldier any more. Now get out of my bedroom before I’m tempted to pick my gun back up and shoot you.” Dean held eye contact with John not wavering until John turned and left the room.

As soon as the door swung closed behind him Dean threw himself back on the bed in frustration. 

“You take a minute to calm down, I’ll go make you a coffee, so you don’t accidentally scare anyone with how pissed off you are. .” Offered Cas, sliding out of bed and heading to the door. “I doubt John will be in a rush to come back and if he does, you’ve got good enough aim that you could just graze him with a bullet. I’m sure everyone would think it was justifiable.”

Even as tense and pissed off as Dean was at John, he couldn’t help but smile and feel less stressed by Cas suggestion. Even if it was mostly said as a joke, the reminder that Cas would support Dean and have his back no matter what was just such a comforting thought and almost made dealing with John worth it. 

Dean really hoped John had headed to the kitchen, because it would be so worth whatever teasing Sam and Rowena came up with when they found out, for John to see Cas walk through the bunker in a pair of Dean’s sweats, an old shirt of Dean and barefoot. 

Because even though Cas had been in the bunker full time lately he had still spent every day in his suit and tie no matter how many times, Dean, Sam, Jack or even Mary tried to convince him to dress more comfy.

Dean got it, but he loved seeing Cas dressed down, and while he had started dressing down and borrowing Dean’s clothes in private this was the first time he had left the safety of Dean’s room or the mancave. He figured Cas didn’t even realise he wasn’t wearing his suit, but hopefully it would be another step towards Cas feeling more at home, and not wanting to leave. 

Cas was pissed off at John, the years of learning bits and pieces from the boys and other sources hadn't done John justice. That was saying something because Cas had already had a pretty shitty opinion on John yet somehow he was worse than he had ever imagined, which made Cas aware that there was so much Dean hadn’t shared about his childhood.

In John’s opinion he was the monster, yet to him John was the monster. Because anyone who treated their children the way John does is a monster. Claire and Jack may not be his children but he thought of them both that way especially Jack. And there is nothing they could do that would make him stop loving them. 

Especially not something so trivial like who they decided to date. He was happy to do whatever Dean needed him to, to continue to piss John off it was quite satisfying.   
Even as early it was there were always people up now days working around the bunker, and especially in the kitchen. Which was good in meant there was always coffee brewed so it didn’t take long at all to make it to Dean’s taste.

It was no surprise as he went to take the coffee to one of the tables that Rowena and Sam were at a table, both early risers. Mary was also there drinking her own coffee and to Cas’s dismary they were joined by John. There were only two spare seats one unfortunately across from John and the other next to Mary. 

Figuring Dean had already dealt with enough, Cas slid into the seat across from John and placed Dean’s coffee in front of the other seat greeting everyone. 

“My my Castiel, I know your Dean’s but I do have to say how delicious you look in his clothes.” Flirted Rowena.

If he wasn’t an Angel he would have blushed, luckily he was just slightly stunned he had forgotten he wasn’t wearing his suit, and before he could say anything Dean made it clear he had arrived and obviously heard Rowena’s comment. “ You can look if you want Red but you can’t touch, he's all mine.” Dean announced as he slid into his own seat after pulling it closer to Cas’s. One hand reaching out to pick up his coffee the other to lace with Cas own hand resting on the table. 

“I’m not going to say you look delicious but it’s nice to see both you boys looking so relaxed and happy together. I really am so happy you have each other and that you are feeling more and more comfortable sharing yourselves with us.” Mary couldn’t help but add, even though it really had nothing to do with her, it did make her feel like she hadn’t ruined her boys lives completely to see them happy and healthy.

John obviously couldn’t stand the conversation and stood up slamming his chair in as he stormed off.

“Ignore him I think he woke up on the wrong side of the bed he was already angry before you two even came in.” said Sam.

Dean and Cas shared a quick wondering if they should share why John was pissed already but decided to keep it themselves. “Well he can be pissed somewhere else. I had a great night's sleep, and am in too good of a mood to care about him today.” Dean Spoke.

Cas couldn’t help but stare at Dean as he spoke, he was confused because Dean wasn’t lying he truly did look relaxed and like he was in a good mood. Even with how their morning had started. Maybe he was choosing to just ignore John like Sam had suggested. 

Just focusing on the rest of the morning, which meant Dean didn’t mind that Cas had decided to rest last night, or that he had forgotten he was wearing his clothes. But did he not mind because he just did not mind, or because it had pissed John off.

Because it was meant to just be beauce it had pissed John off. But one of the reasons Cas had held back from buying clothes of his own was that he liked to wear Dean’s for some reason that he didn’t understand he liked the fact that he knew the clothes he was wearing were Dean’s.

And he had liked sleeping next to Dean even before John had come in, he had ‘woken’ up earlier and realised he had never felt so comfortable or safe in a weird way. It was so confusing and he didn’t know what to think or even really who to ask to talk to about as it didn’t seem like something he could go to Dean for. 

He couldn’t stress too much about it though. Not with Dean rubbing his thumb along the back of his hand.


End file.
